Am I suffering from depression or chronic boredom?
Everything that I do feels utterly pointless.
I am just one more animal fighting for its survival
and the survival of its young.
But I contributed nothing to my world
other than spreading my defective genes
and hence making sure that they get passed on.
Most people seem satisfied
with a roof, a family and a hobby.
It was never enough for me.
To me, that is the most mundane life one can have.
I needed to rise above this
but because I am so dysfunctional
I sabotaged any possibility of doing so.
Just like some people are famous for being famous.
I live only to be alive
Nevertheless, I can’t escape adversity.
If I am doomed to a dumb life
let me sail through the boredom and the meaninglessness
with the least possible conflict
Don’t make me fight for it.
Don’t make me justify
my dumb life.