Does Idealism really equate optimism? I can see how one might think so, but I’m guessing it doesn’t. I’m thinking that one might be the result of the other though, in my case anyway. Let me explain. Although I do believe the human race as a whole is doomed, if not physically, then ethically, that doesn’t mean that there aren’t some extraordinary human specimens who have conceived exceptionally beautiful and/or brilliant things. And being conscious of just how flawed human nature is and of how many despicable and/or mediocre many specimens there are, only makes me want to reach out for the best among people. I seek out (in my mind if not in reality) those people that inspire me. They are not going to save us but they provide us with awe and wonder and many continue to do so long after they are dead through what they leave behind. Having few people I admire in my direct environment, they have become my “friends” in an alternate reality. I think of them everyday, dream of them, long for them. But even in this alternate reality, I know they could never be my friends because I have nothing to offer them. I am not special as they are. I am ordinary. I am a suburban housewife who can’t land or keep a dead end job, let alone a decent one. I can’t even do that which I have chosen to do adequately (be a good wife and mother). And I can’t even interest my own family, actual or potential friends, let alone a magnificent human being. I think that this way of thinking is perhaps what made me rate high on idealism on the Myers Briggs Personality Assessment quiz.